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What should be the source of pleasure in life?

Happiness is something which is extremely desired. first of all try to consider the difference between “joy” and “happiness”. happiness is something which is religiously legal but joy counts each and everything either it is legal or illegal. it might be possible that you do not agree with this discrimination, but now modernization attributed new meanings to the terms. 

In this age of so-called prosperity, joy means greed of lasciviousness. Lasciviousness is going to be the source of joy now a days. Now materialism has gone deeply into the veins of human beings. spirit bad spiritual values have been neglected by the social classes. The classification of the people into different social sectors leads people toward avarice. Now lasciviousness and avarice are the two major issues which are enjoyed by the people. If we try to wipe out above mentioned psychological ugliness, real happiness can be achieved.

Now the question arises, how to be happy and satisfied?. Optimism is the major quality which leads us to success and success directly touches the real and inner happiness. Optimism is a belief system with three major components. First, the belief in your own power to make your life and future better. Second, the belief that negative events in your life are not permanent and personal, and third, the belief that positive events in your life are permanent, personal and pervasive. Optimism is our positive psychological quality which has a clear and obvious reflection on our faces. as Huxley said  “all our deeds and thoughts are visible on our faces” whereas pessimism is negative psychological phenomenon which is the product of our doubts, mistakes and lack of eemaan. pessimism leads us toward failure. What an old fellow has greatly said:-

pessimism is an excuse for not trying and a guarantee to personal failure.

Adoption of simplicity and allotment of contentment by ALLAH can also bring the true spirit of happiness. Lastly, be hard and strong enough to welcome all your cares with a smiling face. do not separate a room of excuses in your life. excuses are demons, you must learn to fight off if you wish to start living a happy and satisfied life. stop making excuses! you are the only one who holds the power to make a real difference in your life. only Islam can give us strength to face the hardships of reality. Islam is, will be and should be real actual source of happiness. may all of you live long in the state of eeman and enjoy the true spirit of Islam and happiness. 

  

By Alia Tabassum, Pakistan

Choose Peace for Successful Life

Deep inside, at our very core, lies a natural centre of absolute stillness and peace which can bring a profound sense of wellbeing. This is the spiritual self –but how do we get in touch with it and experience it in our daily lives? It starts by appreciating who and what we really are – that, in the words of Pierre de Chardin, ‘We are not human beings having spiritual experiences, but spiritual beings having human experiences.’ There’s a story of a young philosophy student who goes to see his professor. ‘Please help me,’ he pleads. ‘I’ve got a question that’s eating me alive.


I can’t sleep through worrying about it. Tell me, do I exist?’ The professor turns to him with a withering look and replies, ‘Who wants to know?’ It soon becomes apparent that you are more than just a collection of bones held together by muscle and soft tissue, and more than a collection of thoughts and emotions. Something in you is aware not only of what you are thinking but also that you are thinking. This is it – the Spiritual Self. When we realise that we are spiritual beings in human form, it’s like waking from a dream. We can step back, see everything in its true perspective, deal with frustration, and find peace and understanding in an imperfect world. You are now ready for the final breakthrough from which genuine confidence, self-esteem and peace of mind flow.

You are greater than you know, and all is well.’ Kahlil Gibran

We can cope with anything if we have the tools and can draw on our inner power. But there is no sun without rain; no joy without spiritual awareness; and no growth without the knowledge that help is always available and we can deal with life’s difficulties.’ Joy Ward
Allow 15-20 minutes for this exercise. Sit or lie down and relax. Notice any physical sensations, then become aware of the one who is observing those sensations. Say, ‘I am not these sensations. I am not this body.’ Now be aware of your thinking. Observe your thoughts. Turn your attention to the one who is observing the thoughts. Say, ‘I am not these thoughts. I am not my thoughts.’ Then become aware of your emotions. Turn your attention to the one who is observing those emotions. Say, ‘I am not these emotions. I am not my emotions.’ Finally become aware of yourself as a spiritual being. Imagine yourself connected to an all powerful Universal Mind that wants the best for you, is guiding and supporting you and bringing you peace. Enjoy this feeling for a few minutes, then open your eyes. Sit quietly for a few moments before returning to your activities. 
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You can choose peace anytime you wish. Just take a few deep breaths and let them out
slowly. Remind yourself that you are a spiritual being, and repeat the affirmation:
‘I can choose peace instead of this.’ You cannot be forced to give up your peace of mind unless you are willing to surrender it. At the root of most anxiety is the wish that the world were different. Let go of this and you immediately feel more at peace. Stop judging. Display these words on your Wall of Confidence. Make them your prime motto:
Everything is exactly as it should be, and always works out for the best. I am at peace with myself and the world. Nothing and no one can destroy my peace.
Give up being dishonest. Confident people have no need to be untruthful, so always keep
your word. For the next 24 hours don’t allow a single untruth to pass your lips. Then carry on for another 24 hours and so on. If you fail, just start again and never give up. 362 Live in the present moment and you are well on the way to lasting peace of mind. Right now, probably all is well in your world, but the moment you allow your thoughts to wander to the past your inner peace is shattered until you bring it back to the present moment. The only moment over which you have any control is now. Every moment, even the most ordinary is a precious gift. When you’re clear on what’s really important and focus on what you can do right now, the future has a habit of taking care of itself.
Imagine what it would be like if you were connected to a Universal Intelligence that works tirelessly for your benefit, offering you all the confidence you need. Imagine it guiding and supporting you, nourishing your mind and body and taking care of you. Imagine you could live securely in the knowledge that everything that happens is for your ultimate benefit. I am at one with the Intelligence that created me. I am at peace.
Occasionally you may have felt yourself slipping back a little from time to time. This is perfectly normal; I call this the ‘ratchet effect’ – two big steps forward, then one small step back. But if you hang on to your resolve, the overall trend is always upwards. Be patient, keep your eye on the ball, treat setbacks with equanimity and persevere. I recently spent a fortnight at a holistic holiday centre in Greece where I met a determined young woman who was well on the road to greater confidence and self-esteem. As she reflected on her recent experiences, she uttered the words you will find below. When you become more confident and look back on your life, her sentiments will be yours too.
I’m not going back into the prison I created for myself ’ Susanne Warren

Leadership and becoming a leader

Leadership is a process where Leader/Person, who influences individuals and groups in an organization, helps them establish goals, guides them toward achievement of those goals, and allows them to be effective as a result. Leaders fill many roles simultaneously. Leaders not only influence others to achieve desired goals, they interact with and motivate subordinates, and deal with conflict and any other issues that may arise.

How Leaders Provide a Vision: To be effective, leaders must provide a vision that is a general statement of the organization’s intended direction that evokes positive emotional feelings in organization members.
The Foundations and Traits of Leadership
The Leader’s Traits: Researchers have studied the traits of successful leaders for many years in an effort to identify a set of core traits that would predict success as a leader. Recent research indicates that there are certain core traits that significantly contribute to success for a business leader. These include drive, the desire to lead, honesty/integrity, self-confidence, cognitive ability and knowledge of the business.
The Leader’s Behavior
How Leaders Act Like Leaders: Leadership studies that focus on how the leader’s style is related to his/her effectiveness as a leader all focus on what the leader does and how he/she behaves in trying to influence followers. These studies also focus on the two major functions of leaders—accomplishing the task
and satisfying the needs of group members.
Initiating Structure and Consideration: Initiating structure and consideration have been two of the most frequently used descriptions of leader behavior. These concepts evolved from the Ohio State University leadership studies. Initiating structure is leader behavior whereby the person organizes work to be done and defines relationships or roles, the channels of communication, and ways of getting jobs done. Consideration is leader behavior indicative of mutual trust, friendship, support, respect, and warmth. In most situations,
considerate leaders will have more satisfied subordinates, but the effects of such considerate leadership on employee performance are inconsistent. The effects of initiating structure are also inconsistent with respect to performance and satisfaction.
Participative and Autocratic Styles: Leaders can act in either a participative or autocratic style. Autocratic leaders solve problems and make decisions by themselves based upon information available at the time. Participative leaders share the problem with subordinates as a group, and together, they generate and
evaluate alternatives and attempt to reach consensus on a solution.
Transformational Leadership Behavior: Transformational leaders encourage and obtain performance beyond expectations by formulating visions, inspiring their subordinates to pursue them, cultivating employee acceptance and commitment to their visions, and providing their employees with the big picture.
Transformational leaders are perceived as charismatic, inspirational, considerate, and stimulating. On the other hand, leaders who exhibit transactional behaviors are more focused on accomplishing the task at hand and maintaining good working relations with subordinates by rewarding for performance. The way men and women lead. The slower career progression for women can be better accounted for by institutional biases and inaccurate stereotypes of women managers. It has been found that men and women perform at about the same level. Women managers have been found to be more achievement oriented, understanding, patient, relationship oriented, socially sensitive, and communicative than men.
Situational Theories of Leadership
Fiedler’s Contingency Theory of Leadership: Fiedler used a least preferred coworker (LPC) scale to measure whether a leader who was lenient in evaluating associates he/she least liked working with was more likely or less likely to have a high-producing group than the leader who was demanding and discriminating. Three factors combine to determine which leadership style is more appropriate: position power, task structure, and leader-member relations. Fiedler concluded that if the situation is favorable or unfavorable to the leader, a more task-oriented, low-LPC leader is appropriate. In the middle range where the factors are more mixed, a more people-oriented, high-LPC leader is more appropriate. Recent research findings cast doubt on the validity of these conclusions.
Path-Goal Leadership Theory: Path-goal theory of leadership, developed by House, is based upon expectancy theory, which states whether a person will be motivated depends on whether the person believes he/she has the ability to accomplish a task and his/her desire to do so. The theory concludes that
leaders should increase the personal rewards subordinates receive for attaining goals and make the path to these goals easier to follow. The leadership style required depends upon the situation, so the leader must be flexible and adopt the style that is required.
Leader-Member Exchange Theory: Leader-member exchange theory (LMX) says that leaders may use different styles with different members of the same work group. Followers tend to fall in either the ingroup or the out-group in relating to the leader. The quality of leader-member exchanges was positively
related to a leader’s perception of the follower’s similar attitudes and extroversion. The findings suggest that leaders should try to make the in-group more inclusive, and followers should try to be in the leader’s in-group by emphasizing similarity in attitudes.
The Situational Leadership Model: The situational leadership model of leadership suggests that a leader should adapt his/her leadership style (delegating, participating, selling, or telling) to the task.
The Vroom-Jago-Yetton Model: Vroom, Jago, and Yetton have developed a leadership model that enables a leader to analyze a situation and decide whether it is right for participation. The technique includes a set of management decision styles, a set of diagnostic questions, and a decision tree for identifying how much participation is called for in a situation.
Power and Leadership
Leaders without power are really not leaders because they have no chance of influencing anyone to do anything. Leaders in organizations normally derive much of their power from their formal position and the ability to allocate rewards. In some cases, leaders may have expert or referent power depending upon their individual characteristics.
Becoming a Leader
Start to think Like a Leader: Thinking like a leader requires applying the three-step model: identify what is happening; account for it; and decide on the necessary leadership actions. And remember that leading requires knowledge of matters other than leadership theories (e.g., culture, motivation, groups, conflict, and change) to influence followers to move toward goals.
Develop Your Judgment: Leaders can improve their judgment or decision-making ability by increasing their knowledge, debasing their judgment, being creative, using intuition, not overstressing the finality of decisions, and making sure the timing of a decision is right.
Develop Your Other Leadership Traits: Leaders can use good judgment, exhibit self-confidence, and improve their knowledge of the business to improve their effectiveness.
Start to Build Your Power Base: Leaders can strengthen the foundation of their leadership by making sure followers share their vision, adapting their leadership style and actions to the situation, substituting other management skills to help them lead by choosing the right followers, and organizing the task properly to reduce the need for leadership.
Help Others Share Your Vision: Ensuring that your subordinates know and understand your vision, mission, and objectives can help the leader influence the subordinates to work enthusiastically toward achieving an objective.
Adapt Your Style and Actions to the Situation: No one leadership style is appropriate for every situation.
Use Your Other Management Skills to Lead: Leaderships should choose the right followers and organize the task properly.
Building Trust: The Essence of Leadership
Understanding Trust
Trust is a positive expectation that another will not act opportunistically. The two most important elements of our definition are that it implies familiarity and risk. Trust is a history-dependent process based on relevant but limited samples of experience. It takes time to form, building incrementally and accumulating, it
involves making oneself vulnerable. By its very nature, trust provides the opportunity for disappointment. But trust is not taking risk per se; rather it is a willingness to take risk. Recent evidence has identified five: integrity, competence, consistency, loyalty, and openness. Integrity refers to honesty, conscientiousness, and truthfulness. This one seems to be most critical when someone assesses another’s trustworthiness. Competence encompasses an individual’s technical and interpersonal knowledge and skills. Consistency
relates to an individual’s reliability, predictability, and good judgment in handling situations. Loyalty is the willingness to protect and save face for another person. The final dimension of trust is openness.
Trust as One Foundation of Leadership
Trust appears to be a primary attribute associated with leadership. Part of the leader’s task has been working with people to find and solve problems,
but whether leaders gain access to the knowledge and creative thinking they
need to solve problems depends on how much people trust them.
When followers trust a leader, they are willing to be vulnerable to the leader’s
actions. Honesty consistently ranks at the top of most people’s list of characteristics they admire in their leaders.  Now, more than ever, managerial and leadership effectiveness depends on the ability to gain the trust of followers.
6. In times of change and instability, people turn to personal relationships for
guidance; and the quality of these relationships are largely determined by level of trust. Moreover, contemporary management practices such as empowerment and the use of work teams require trust to be effective.
Types of Trust
Deterrence-based Trust: The most fragile relationships are contained in deterrence-based trust, based on fear of reprisal if the trust is violated. It works only to the degree that punishment is possible, consequences are clear, and the punishment is actually imposed if the trust is violated. To be sustained, the potential loss of future interaction with the other party must outweigh the profit
potential that comes from violating expectations. Most new relationships begin on a base of deterrence. In a new manager-employee relationship the bond that creates this trust lies in the authority held by the boss and the punishment he/she can impose.
Knowledge-based Trust: Most organizational relationships are rooted in knowledge-based trust. Trust is based on the behavioral predictability that comes from a history of interaction. Knowledge of the other party and predictability of his or her behavior replaces the contracts, penalties, and legal arrangements more typical of deterrence-based trust. This knowledge develops over time,
largely as a function of experience. The more communication and regular interaction you have with someone else, the more this form of trust can be developed and depended upon. Interestingly, at the knowledge-based level, trust is not necessarily broken by inconsistent behavior. If you can adequately explain or understand another’s apparent violation, you can accept it, forgive the person,
and move on in the relationship. Most manager-employee relationships are knowledge-based.
Identification-based Trust: The highest level of trust is achieved when there is an emotional connection between the parties. It allows one party to act as an agent for the other and substitute for that person. This mutual understanding is developed to the point that each can effectively act for the other. Controls are minimal at this level. The best example of identification-based trust is a
long-term, happily married couple. You see identification-based trust occasionally in organizations among people who have worked together for long periods of time and have a depth of experience that allows them to know each other inside and out. This is also the type of trust that managers ideally seek in teams.

CONFLICT and NEGOTIATION

Conflict is the process in which one party perceives that its interests are being opposed or negatively affected by another party. Conflict is a process in which people disagree over significant issues, thereby creating friction between parties. Conflict can exist when people have opposing interests, perceptions, and feelings; when those involved recognize the existence of differing points of view; when the disagreement is ongoing; and when opponents try to prevent each other from accomplishing their goals. Although conflict can be destructive, it can also be beneficial when used as a source of renewal and creativity.

Competition,

rivalry between individuals or groups over an outcome that both seek, is not the same as conflict. In competition, there must be a winner and a loser; with conflict, people can cooperate so that no one wins or loses.
Organizational conflict occurs when a stakeholder group pursues its interests at the expense of other stakeholders. Given the different goals of stakeholders, organizational conflict is inevitable. Conflict is associated with negative images, such as unions getting angry and violent, but some conflict can improve effectiveness. When conflict passes a certain point, it hurts an organization.
Transitions in Conflict Thought
Under traditional view conflict is a process in which people disagree over significant issues, creating friction between parties. One view of conflict is that it is dysfunctional and harmful to organizations, because the struggle over incompatible goals is a waste of time that prevents people and organizations from being productive and reaching their potential. On the other hand, interactionist view states that when conflict is based on issues rather than personalities, it can enhance problem solving and creativity. Open discussions of
differing viewpoints allows for a thorough consideration of alternatives and their consequences in the course of decision making. Conflict can also increase motivation and energize people to focus on a task. Human relation view states that Conflict is a natural occurrence and we should accept conflict
Conflict Good or Bad
Conflict can have both positive and negative consequences. On the positive side, conflict can bring energy to a competition and focus participants on the task at hand. It can also increase group cohesion and stimulate open discussion of issues. On the negative side, conflict can cause participants to lose sight of common goals and focus on winning at all costs. In addition, it can lead to distorted judgments and a lack of cooperation. Finally, the losers in a conflict feel demoralized and lose motivation; this loser effect harms long-term relationships and overall organizational performance.
How can conflict improve effectiveness?
Conflict can overcome inertia and introduce change, because conflict requires an organization to reassess its views. Different views are considered, and the quality of decision-making is improved.
Types and levels of Conflict
There are four types of conflict. Inter-group conflict occurs when groups within and outside the organization disagree on various issues. Interpersonal conflict is due to differences in goals, values, and styles between two or more people who are required to interact. Intra group conflict occurs within a work group over goals and work procedures. Intrapersonal conflict is a person’s internal conflict over divergent goals, values, or roles. Inter group conflict can occur at two levels which are horizontal and vertical. Horizontal conflict takes place between departments or groups at the same level of the organization. In contrast, vertical conflict occurs between groups at different levels of the organization.
Types of Conflict
􀁺 Task conflict: Conflicts over content and goals of the work
􀁺 Relationship conflict: Conflict based on interpersonal relationships
􀁺 Process conflict: Conflict over how work get done
Individual Conflict Management Styles
The obliging style of conflict management is based on low concern for self, high concern for others, and focusing on the needs of others while satisfying or ignoring personal needs. This works best when issues are unimportant, knowledge is limited, there is long-term give and take, and the person managing the conflict has no power.
The avoiding style is based on low concern for self and others and a focus on suppressing, setting aside, and ignoring the issues. This is appropriate when the conflict is too strong and parties need to cool off.
The integrative style shows high concern for self and for others and focuses on
collaboration, openness, and exchange of information. This is used when issues are complex, when commitment is needed, when dealing with strategic issues, and when longterm solutions are required.
The dominating style shows high concern for self, low concern for others, and focuses on advancing own goals at any cost. This is used when time is short, issues are trivial, all solutions are unpopular, and an issue is important to the party resolving the conflict.
The compromising style shows moderate concern for self and others and focuses on achieving a reasonable middle ground where all parties win. This is used when goals are clearly incompatible, parties have equal power, and a quick solution is needed.
Manager’s ways to manage conflict.
Managers can manage conflict by either preventing or reducing high levels of conflict or stimulating low levels of conflict. To do this, managers can apply a behavioral approach or an attitudinal approach. The behavioral approach targets the behavior causing the conflict, while the attitudinal approach targets the roots of the conflict, including people’s emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. Behavioral methods include enforcing rules, separating the parties, clarifying tasks, having a common enemy or outside competition, and increasing resources and rewarding cooperation. Attitudinal methods include having a common enemy, rotating members, increasing resources, and team-building and organizational development (OD). To stimulate conflict, managers can introduce change, increase task ambiguity, or create interdependency.
Conflict and Negotiation
Stakeholders compete for the resources that an organization produces. Shareholders want dividends, employees want raises. An organization must manage both cooperation and competition among stakeholders to grow and survive. All stakeholders have a common goal of organizational survival, but not all goals are identical.
Negotiation
It is the process used by two or more parties to reach a mutually agreeable arrangement to exchange goods and services. Managers need negotiating skills to be effective in today’s global, diverse, dynamic, teamoriented business environment. Culture significantly affects the negotiation process. Negotiators from masculine cultures emphasize assertiveness and independence, which can cause them to see negotiation as a competition and spur them to win at all costs. Negotiators from cultures comfortable with uncertainty will take a creative, problem-solving approach, while those from high uncertainty-avoidance cultures will emphasize bureaucratic rules and procedures. Power-distance, individuality-collectivism, high or low context, emotion, and time-orientation dimensions also affect negotiation. Beyond a certain point, conflict hurts the organization and causes decline. Managers spend time bargaining, rather than making decisions. An organization in decline cannot afford to spend time on decision-making, because it needs a quick response to recover its position. Group’s battle for their interests, no agreement is reached, and the organization floats along, falling prey to inertia. Bargaining issues in negotiation process can be divided into three categories: mandatory, permissive, and prohibited.
Mandatory Bargaining Issues—Fall within the definition of wages, hours, and other terms and conditions of employment.
Permissive Bargaining Issues—May be raised, but neither side may insist that they be bargained over.
Prohibited Bargaining Issues—Are statutorily outlawed.
Negotiation Strategies
Figure shows four negotiating strategies based on the importance of the substantive outcome and the importance of the relationship outcome. These four strategies are trusting collaboration, firm competition, open subordination, and active avoidance. Trusting collaboration is a win-win strategy most appropriate when both the substantive task outcome and the relationship outcome are important. Firm competition is used when the substantive task outcome is important but the relationship outcome is not. Open subordination is applied when the task outcome is not important but the relationship outcome is. Active avoidance is useful when neither the task outcome nor the relationship outcome is important. When two parties are unable to come to agreement during negotiations, they may bring in a third party to help resolve the differences. Conciliation and consultation focus on improving interpersonal relations to foster constructive discussion of issues. Mediation considers both interpersonal and substantive issues and relies on formal evaluation of positions plus persuasion to bring about a non-binding solution. Arbitration, a legally binding process in which the arbitrator imposes a solution, can be used when all other methods have failed and the conflict must be urgently resolved.
Common mistakes made when negotiating include:
Irrational escalation of commitment; thinking the pie is fixed; winner’s curse; and overconfidence. Avoiding these common mistakes requires managers to be aware of the issues, be thoroughly prepared, and be willing to rely on expert opinion to reduce the possibility of making mistakes.

Stress Management for Peak Performance

Stress is the body’s nonspecific reaction to any demand made on it. For various reasons, programs dealing with stress and its related problems are becoming increasingly popular. Long-term productivity depends largely on the dedication and commitment of the company’s employees. Employees are increasingly holding their employers liable for emotional problems they claim are work related.

And, stress-related mental disorders have become the fastest-growing occupational disease. There is increasing evidence indicating that severe, prolonged stress is related to the diseases that are leading causes of death—coronary heart disease, stroke, hypertension, cancer, emphysema, diabetes, and cirrhosis; stress may even lead to suicide. Some signs that may indicate problems include impaired judgment and effectiveness, rigid behavior, medical problems, increased irritability, excessive absences, emerging addictive behaviors, lowered self-esteem, and apathetic behavior.

Sources Of Stress
Regardless of its origin, stress possesses the same devastating potential. Some factors are controllable to varying degrees, whereas others are not.
Stressor
The person or event that triggers the stress response, it can be organizational, personal or environmental factor that can become the source of stress.
Organizational Factors—Many factors associated with a person’s employment can be potentially stressful. These include the firm’s culture, the individual’s job, and general working conditions.
Personal Factors—Stress factors outside the job and job environment also may affect job performance. Factors in this category include the family, financial problems, and living conditions.
The General Environment—Stress is a part of everyone’s everyday life and its potential lurks not only in the workplace and the home but also in our general environment. The three-hour commute in rush traffic, the unrelenting rain, the oppressive heat, or chilling cold can all create stress. Excessive noise, wherever it is encountered, can drive some people up the wall.
Symptoms of Stress:
Stress can express following four types of the symptoms:
Short-term physical symptoms: Short-term physical symptoms include; faster heart beat, increased sweating, cool skin Cold hands and feet Feelings of nausea, or ‘Butterflies in stomach’ Rapid Breathing, Tense Muscles, dry Mouth, desire to urinate, diarrhea
Long-term physical symptoms: Change in appetite frequent colds illnesses
(such as asthma Back pain digestive problems headaches aches and pains) feelings of intense and long-term tiredness, Risk factors (Heart attacks and
strokes Hypertension and headaches Ulcers Allergies)
Internal symptoms: Internal symptoms include Worry or anxiety, Confusion,
and an inability to concentrate or make decisions, Feeling ill, Feeling out of
control or overwhelmed by events, Mood changes, Depression, Frustration,
Helplessness, Restlessness, Being more lethargic, Difficulty sleeping, drinking
more alcohol and smoking more, Changing eating habits, relying more on
medication.
Behavioral symptoms: Behavioral Symptoms include, talking too fast or, too
loud Bad moods being irritable Defensiveness Being critical Aggression,
Irrationality, Overreaction and reacting emotionally Reduced personal
effectiveness Being unreasonably negative Making less realistic judgments Being
unable to concentrate and having difficulty making decisions being more
forgetful Making more mistakes being more accident-prone Changing work
habits Increased absenteeism Neglect of personal appearance
Outcomes of Organization due to stress: Continuous stress in working
environment results in some problem in organizational operations like poorer
decision-making, decreased creativity, lost work time, Increased turnover and
more sabotage.
Stress & Job Performance
Stress can affect the performance in positive as well as negative ways. Stress is a dynamic condition in which an individual is confronted with an opportunity, constraints or demand related to what he or she desires, and for which the outcome is perceived to be both uncertain and important. Stress is a complex issue, so let’s look at it more closely. Stress can manifest itself both in positive and negative way. Stress is said to be positive when the situation offers an opportunity for one to gain something; for example, the “psychingup” that an athlete goes through can be stressful, but this can lead to maximum performance. It is when constraints or demands are placed on us that stress can become negative. Constraints are barriers that keep us from doing what we desire. Demands, on the other hand, may cause you to give up something. Demands
are desires that are backed by the purchasing power or affordability.
Managing Stress
Experts emphasize that some stress is healthy and moderate stress is the key to survival.
INDIVIDUAL COPING APPROACHES—There are a number of ways, that
individuals may take to control excessive stress. There are several specific techniques that individuals can utilize to deal with stress. These methods include hypnosis, biofeedback, and transcendental meditation.
Hypnosis: An altered state of consciousness that is artificially induced and characterized by increased receptiveness to suggestions.
Biofeedback: A method that can be used to control involuntary bodily processes, such as blood pressure or heart beat rate.
Transcendental meditation (TM): A stress-reduction technique whereby a secret word or phrase (mantra) provided by a trained instructor is mentally repeated while an individual is comfortably seated.
b. Organizational Coping Approaches—A number of programs and techniques may effectively prevent or relieve excessive stress. General organizational programs, although not specifically designed to cope with stress, may nevertheless play a major role.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Our experience of the world is created by gathering information through the use of our five senses. However, each of us tends to develop a favorite mode of focus, or a modality, as it is often called. Some people are more impacted, for example, by what they see; their visual system tends to be more dominant. For others, sounds are the trigger for the greatest of life’s experiences, while for others, feelings are the foundation.

Even within each of these modes of experience, though, there are special elements of pictures, sounds, or other sensations that can be changed in order to increase or decrease the intensity of our experience. These foundational ingredients are called sub modalities. For example, you can make a picture in our mind and then take any aspect of that image (a sub modality), and change it to change your feelings about it. You can brighten the picture, immediately changing the amount of intensity you feel about the experience.


This is known as a changing sub modality. Probably the greatest expert in sub modalities is Richard Bandler, co – founder of Neuro- Linguistic Programming. The lineage of experts on this dates back to the foundational work on the five senses done by Aristotle, which categorizes perception models. You can radically raise or lower your intensity the feeling about anything by manipulating sub modalities. They affect how you feel about virtually anything, whether you feel joy, frustration, wonder, or despair. Understanding them enables you to not only change how you feel about any experience in your life, but to change what it means to you and thus what you can do about it.

One image I’ve found very useful is to think of sub modalities as the grocery store UPC bar codes, those clusters of little black lines that have replaced price tags in just about every supermarket you patronize today. The codes look insignificant, yet when pulled across the checkout scanner, they tell the computer what the item is, how much it costs, how its sale affects the inventory, and so on. Sub modalities work the same way. When
pulled across the scanner of the computer we call the brain, they tell the brain what this thing is, how to feel about it, and what to do. You have your own bar codes, and there is a list of them coming up alone with question to ask to determine which of them you use.
For example, if you tend to focus upon you visual modalities, the amount of enjoyment you can get from a particular memory is probably a direct consequence of the sub modalities of size, color, brightness, distance, and amount of movement in the visual image you’ve made of it. If you represent it to yourself with auditory sub modalities, then how you feel depends on the volume, tempo, pitch, tonality, and other such factors you
attach to it. For example, in order for some people to feel motivated, they have to tune in a certain channel first if their favorite channel is visual, then focusing on the visual elements of the situation gives them more emotional intensity about it. For other people it’s auditory or kinesthetic channels. And for some, the best strategy works like a combination lock. First the visual lock has to be aligned, then the auditory, then the
kinesthetic. All three dials have to be lined up in the right place and the right order for the vault to open.

Once your aware of this, you’ll realize that people are constantly using words in their day–to–day language to tell you which system and which sub modalities they are tuning in. Listen to the ways they describe their experience, and take it literally. (For example, in the last two sentences I used the terms ‘tuning in’ and ‘listen’ – clearly these are auditory examples.) How many times have you heard someone say,’ I can’t picture doing that’? They’re telling you what the problem is: If they did picture doing it, they’d go into state where they’d feel like they could make it happen. Someone may have once said to you,’ your blowing things out of proportion.’ If you’re really upset, they may be right. You may be taking images in your mind and making them much bigger, which tends to intensify the experience. If someone says,’ this is weighing heavily upon me.’ You can assist them by helping them feel lighter about the situation and thereby get them in a better state to deal with it. If someone says, ‘I’m just tuning you guys out.’ You’ve got to tune them back in so the can change states. Our ability to change the way we feel depends upon our ability to change our sub modalities. We must learn to take control of the various elements with which we represent experiences and change them in ways that support our outcomes.

For example, have you ever found yourself saying you need to ‘get distance’ from a problem? I’d like you try something, if you would. Think of a situation that is challenging you currently. Make a picture of it in your mind, and then imagine pushing that picture farther and farther away from yourself. Stand above it and look down upon the problem with a new perspective. What happens to your emotional intensity? For most people, it drops. What if the image becomes dimmer or smaller? Now take picture of the problem and make it bigger, brighter, and closer. For most people, this intensifies it. Push it back out and watch the sun melt it. A simple change in any one of these elements is life changing the ingredients in a recipe. They’re definitely going to alter what you finally experience in your body.

Remember, how you feel about things is instantly changed by a shift of sub modalities. For example, think of something that happened yesterday. Just for a moment, picture that experience. Take the image of this memory and put it behind you. Gradually push it back until its miles behind you, a tiny, dim dot far off in the darkness. Does it feel like it happened yesterday, or a long time ago? If the memory is great, bring it back. Otherwise,
leave it there! Who needs to focus on this memory? By contrast, you’ve had some incredibly wonderful experiences in your life. Think of one right now, one that happened a long time ago. Recall the imagery of that experience. Bring it forward; put it in front of you. Make it big, bright, and colorful; make it three – dimensional. Step into your body as you were then and feel that experience right now as if you were there. Does it feel like it happened a long time ago, or is it something you’re enjoying right now? You see, even your experience of time can be changed by changing sub modalities.


CREATE YOUR OWN BLUEPRINT
Discovering your sub modalities is a fun process. You may want to do this on your own, although you may find it more fun to do with someone else. This will help with the accuracy, and if they’re also reading this, you’ll have a lot to talk about and a partner in your commitment to personal mastery. So very quickly now, think of a time in your life when you had a very enjoyable experience, and do the following: Rate your enjoyment on a scale from 0 – 100, where 0 is no enjoyment at all and 100 is the peak level of enjoyment you could possibly experience. Let’s say you came up with 80 on this emotional intensity scale. Let’s discover which elements are apt to create more enjoyment in your life than others, more pleasure feelings than pain feelings.
Begin to evaluate each of the questions contained in the checklist against your experience. So, for example, as you remember this experience and focus on the visual sub modalities, ask yourself,’ is it a movie or a still frame?’ If it’s a movie, notice how it feels. Does it feel good? Now change it to its opposite. Make it a still frame and see what happens. Does your level enjoyment drop? Does it drop significantly? By what percentage? As you made it a still frame, did it drop from 80 to 50, for example? Write down the impact that this change has made so you’ll be able to utilize this distinction in the future. Then, return the imagery to its initial form; that is, make it a movie again if that’s what it was, so you feel like you’re back at 80 again. Is it in color or in black and white? If it was in black and white, notice how it feels. Now, again, do the opposite to it. Add color and see what happens. Does it raise your emotional intensity higher than 80? Write down the impact this has upon you emotionally. If it brings you to a 95, this might be a valuable thing to remember in the future. For example, when thinking about a task you usually avoid, if you add color to your image of it, you’ll find that your positive emotional intensity grows immediately. Now drop the image back down to black and white, and again, notice what happens to your emotional intensity and what a big difference this makes. Remember to always finish by restoring the original state before going on to the next question. Put the color back into it; make it brighter than it was before, until you’re virtually awash in vivid color.
In fact, brightness is an important sub modality for most people; brightening things intensifies their emotion. If you think about the pleasurable experience right now, and make the image brighter and brighter, you probably feel better, don’t you? (Of course, there are exceptions. If you’re savoring the memory of a romantic moment, and suddenly turn all the lights on full blast, that may not be entirely appropriate.) What if you were to make the image dim, dark, and defocused? For most people, that makes it almost depressing. So make it brighter again; make it brilliant! Continue down your list, nothing which of these visual sub modalities changes your motional intensity the most. Then focus on the auditory sub modalities. As you re-create the experience inside your head, how does it sound to you? What does raising the volume do to the level of pleasure you feel? How does increasing the tempo affect the enjoyment? By how much? Write it down, and shift as many other elements as you can think of. If what you’re imagining is the sound of someone’s voice, experiment with different inflections and accents, and notice what that does to the level of enjoyment you experience. If you change the quality of the sound from smooth to silky to rough and gravelly, what happens? Remember, finish by restoring the sounds to their original auditory form so that all the qualities continue to create pleasure for you.
Finally, focus on kinesthetic sub modalities. As you remember this pleasurable experience, how does changing the various kinesthetic elements intensify or decrease your pleasure? Does raising the temperature make you feel more comfortable, or does it drive you up the wall? Focus on your breathing. Where are you breathing from? If you change the quality of your breaths from rapid and shallow to long and deep, how does this affect the quality of your experience? Notice what a difference this makes, and write it down. What about the texture of the image? Play around with it; change it from soft and fluffy, to wet and slimy, to gooey and sticky. As you go through each of these changes, how does your blood feel? Write it down. When you’re done experimenting with the whole checklist of sub modalities, go back and adjust until the most pleasurable image re – emerges; make it real enough so you can get your hands around it and squeeze the juice from it! As you go through these exercises, you will quickly see that some of these sub modalities are much more powerful for you than others. We’re all made differently and have are own preferred ways of representing our experience to ourselves. What you’ve just done was to create a blueprint that maps out how your brain is wired.
Keep it and use it; it will come in handy some day – may be today! By knowing which modalities trigger you, you’ll know how to increase your positive emotions and decrease your negative emotions. For example, if you know that making something big and bright and bringing it close can tremendously intensify your emotion, you can get yourself motivated to do something by changing its imagery to match these criteria. You’ll also know not to make your problems big, bright and close or you’ll intensify your negative
emotions as well! You’ll know how to instantly shake yourself out of limiting state and into an energizing, empowering one. And you can be better equipped to continue your pathway to personal power. Knowing the large part that sub modalities play in your experience of reality is crucial in meeting challenges. For example, whether you feel confused or on track is a matter of sub modalities. If you think about a time when you felt confused, remember whether you were representing the experience as a picture or a movie. Then compare it to a time when you felt that you understood something. Often when people feel confused, it’s because they have a series of images in their heads that are piled up too closely together in a chaotic jumble because someone as been talking too rapidly or loudly. For other people, they get confused if things are taught to them too slowly. These individuals need to see images in a movie form, to see how things related to each other; otherwise the process is too disassociated. Do you see how understanding someone’s sub modalities can help you to teach them much more effectively?

The challenge is that most of us take our limiting patterns and make them big, bright, close, loud, or heavy – whichever sub modalities we’re most attuned to – and then wonder why we feel overwhelmed! If you’ve ever pulled yourself out of that state, it’s probably because you or somebody else took that image and changed it, redirecting your focus. You finally said,’ oh, it’s not that big a deal.’ Or you worked on one aspect of it, and by doing so; it didn’t seem like such a big project to tackle. These are simple strategies.