Non-Verbal Communication

Nonverbal communication is all aspects of communication other than words themselves. It includes not only gestures and body language but also how we utter words: inflection, pauses, tone, volume, and accent. These nonverbal features affect the meaning of our words. Nonverbal communication also includes features of environments that affect interaction, personal objects such as jewelry and clothes, physical appearance, and facial expressions. Scholars estimate that nonverbal behavior accounts for 65% to 93% of the total meaning of communication. To understand verbal and nonverbal dimensions of communication, we identify both similarities and differences between them.

SIMILARITIES BETWEEN VERBAL AND NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

1. Nonverbal communication is symbolic: Like verbal communication, nonverbal communication is symbolic. To represent different moods, we shrug our shoulders, lower our eyes, and move away from or toward others. We smile to symbolize pleasure in seeing a friend, frown to show anger or irritation, and widen our eyes to indicate surprise. Because nonverbal communication is symbolic, like verbal communication it is arbitrary, ambiguous, and abstract. Thus, we cannot be sure what a wink or hand movement means. Similarly, we can’t guarantee that others will perceive the meanings we intend to communicate with our nonverbal actions.
2. Nonverbal communication is rule guided: Within particular societies we share general understanding of what specific nonverbal behaviors are appropriate in various situations and what they mean. For example, in United States and many other countries, handshakes are the conventional method of beginning and ending business meetings. Smiles generally are understood to express friendliness, and scowls generally are perceived as indicating displeasure of some type. We follow rules (often unconsciously) to create different interaction climates. For a formal speech, a room might be set up
with a podium that is at a distance from listeners’ chairs. The chairs would be arranged in neat rows. To symbolize a less formal speaking occasion, a podium might be omitted, chairs might be arranged in a circle, and the person speaking might be seated.
3. Nonverbal communication may be intentional or unintentional: Both verbal and nonverbal communication may be deliberately controlled or unintentional. For example, you may carefully select clothes to create a professional impression when you are going to a job interview. You may also deliberately control your verbal language in the interview to present yourself as assertive, articulate, and respectful. We exert conscious control over most of our nonverbal communication.
4. Nonverbal communication reflects culture: Like verbal communication, nonverbal communication is shaped by cultural ideas, values, customs, and history. Just as we learn the language of a culture, we also learn it nonverbal codes. For example, in the United States most people use knives, forks and spoons to eat. In Korea, Japan, China, Nepal, and other Asian countries, chopsticks often are the primary eating utensil.
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN VERBAL AND NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
1. Nonverbal communication is believed to be more believable than verbal: One major difference is that most people perceive nonverbal communication as more trustworthy than verbal communication, especially when verbal and nonverbal messages are inconsistent. If someone glares and says, “I’m glad to see you;” you are likely to believe the nonverbal message, which communicates a lack of pleasure in seeing you.
2. Nonverbal communication is multichanneled: Nonverbal communication often occurs simultaneously in two or more channels, whereas verbal communication tends to take place in a single channel. Nonverbal communication may be see, felt, heard, smelled, and tasted, and we may receive nonverbal communication through several of these channels at the same time.
3. Nonverbal communication is continuous: Finally, nonverbal communication is more continuous than verbal communication. Verbal symbols start and stop. We say something or write something and then we stop talking or writing. However, it is difficult , if not impossible, to stop nonverbal communication.
PRINCIPLES OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
1. Nonverbal Communication May Supplement Or Replace Verbal Communication
Communication researchers have identified five ways in which nonverbal behaviors interact with verbal communication. First, nonverbal behaviors may repeat verbal messages. For example, you might say, “yes” while nodding your head. Second, nonverbal behaviors may highlight verbal communication. For example, you
can emphasize particular words by speaking more loudly. Third, we use nonverbal behavior to complement or add to words. When you see a friend, you might say, “I’m glad to see you” and underline the verbal message with a warm embrace. Fourth, nonverbal behaviors may contradict verbal messages, as when someone says, “Nothing’s wrong” in a hostile tone of voice. Finally, we sometimes substitute nonverbal behavior for verbal ones. For instance, you might roll your eyes to indicate that you disapprove of something.
2. Nonverbal Communication May Regulate Interaction
More than verbal cues, nonverbal behavior regulate the flow of communication between people. In conversations, we generally know when someone else is through speaking and when it is our turn to talk. Seldom do explicit verbal cues tell us when to speak and when to keep silent.
3. Nonverbal Communication Often Establishes Relationship-Level Meanings
The content level of meaning is the literal message. The relationship level of meaning defines communicators’ identities and relationship between them. Nonverbal communication often acts as a “relationship language” that expresses the overall feeling of relationships. Three dimensions of relationship-level meanings are conveyed primarily through nonverbal communication; responsiveness, likeness, and power.
TYPES OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
In this section we describe nine types of nonverbal communication:
1. KINESICS refers to body position and body motions, including those of face. Someone who stands erectly and walks confidently announces self-assurance, whereas someone who slouches and shuffles seems to be saying, “I’m not very sure of myself.” One of the most important aspects of kinesics concerns how we position ourselves relative to others and what our positions say about our feelings toward them.
2. HAPTICS, the sense of touch, is the first of our five senses to develop, and many communication scholars believe touching and being touched are essential to a healthy life. Research on dysfunctional families reveals that mothers touch babies less often and less affectionately than mothers in healthy families. Touching also communicates power and status. People with high status touch others and invade others’ space more than people with less status. As adults, women tend to engage in touch to show liking and intimacy, whereas men are more likely than women to use touch to assert power and
control.
3. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: Western culture places a high value on physical appearance. For this reason, in face-to-face interactions, most of us notice how others look, and we often form initial evaluations of others based on their appearance, over which they have limited control. This excessive emphasis on physical appearance in the West probably explains the astounding growth in cosmetic surgery.
4. ARTIFACTS are personal objects we use to announce our identities and heritage and to personalize our environment. We craft our image by how we dress and what objects we carry and use. Nurses and physicians wear white and often drape stethoscope around their necks, professors travel with briefcases, whereas students more often tote backpacks.
5. ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS are elements of settings that affect how we feel and act. For instance, we respond to architecture, colors, room design, temperature, sounds, smells, and lighting. Rooms with comfortable chairs invite relaxation, whereas rooms with stiff chairs induce formality.
6. PROXEMICS refers to space and how we use it. Every culture has norms that prescribe how people should use space, how close people should be to one another, and how much space different people are entitled to have. Space also announces status, with greater space being assumed by those with higher status.
7. CHRONEMICS refer to how we perceive and use time to define identities and interaction. Within Western culture there is a norm that important people with high status can keep others waiting. Conversely, people with low status are expected to be punctual. It is standard practice to have to wait, sometimes a good while, to see a physician, even if you have an appointment. This carries the message that the physician’s time is more valuable than yours. Similarly, the duration of time we spend with
various people reflect our interpersonal priorities.
8. PARALANGUAGE is communication that is vocal but does not use words. It includes sounds, such as murmurs and gasps, and vocal qualities, such as volume, pitch, and inflection. Paralanguage also includes accents, pronunciation, and the complexity of sentences. Whispering, for instance, signals secrecy and intimacy, whereas shouting conveys anger. A sarcastic tone communicates scorn or dislike more emphatically than words.
9. SILENCE is a final type of nonverbal behavior, which can communicate powerful messages. “I’m not speaking to you” actually speaks volumes. We use silence to communicate different meanings. For instance, it can symbolize contentment when intimates are so comfortable, they don’t need to talk. Silence can also communicate awkwardness, as you know if you’ve ever had trouble keeping conversation going on a first meeting.

NEO Interpersonal Communication

When asked to define interpersonal communication from communication in general, many people say that interpersonal communication involves fewer people, often just two. Although much interpersonal communication involves only two or three people, this isn’t a useful way of defining interpersonal communication. If it were, then an exchange between a homeowner and a plumber would be interpersonal, but a family conversation wouldn’t be.

Clearly, the number of people involved is not a good criterion for defining interpersonal communication. Some people suggest that intimate contexts define interpersonal communication. But this also doesn’t define interpersonal communication as the context doesn’t necessarily tell us what is unique about interpersonal communication. What distinguishes interpersonal communication is the particular quality, or character, of interaction. This emphasizes what happens between people, not where they are or how many are present.

A Communication Continuum
We can begin to understand the unique character of interpersonal communication by tracing the meaning of the word interpersonal. It is derived from the prefix inter, meaning “between”, and the word person, so interpersonal communication literally occurs between people. In one sense, all communication happens between people, yet many interactions don’t involve us personally. Communication exists on a continuum from impersonal to interpersonal. A lot of our communication doesn’t involve personal interaction. Sometimes we don’t acknowledge others as people at all but treat them as objects; they bag our groceries, direct us around highway construction, and so forth. In other instances, we interact with others in stereotypical or role-bound ways but don’t deal with them as distinct people. With a select few people we communicate in deeply personal ways. These distinctions are captured by philosopher Martin Buber (1970) who distinguished between three levels of communication: I-It, I-You, and I-Thou.
I-It Communication: In an I-It relationship, we treat others impersonally, almost as objects. In I-It Communication we do not acknowledge the humanity of the other people; we may not even affirm their existence. Salespeople, servers in restaurants, and clerical staff often are treated not as people but as instruments to take orders and deliver what we want. In the extreme form of I-It relationships, others are not even acknowledged. When a homeless person asks for money for food, some people do not even respond but
look away as if the person isn’t there. In dysfunctional families, parents may ignore children, thereby treating the children as I-It, not as people.
I-You Communication: the second level Buber identified is I-You Communication, which accounts for the majority of our interactions. People acknowledge one another as more than objects, but they don’t fully engage each other as unique individuals. For example, suppose you go shopping and a salesclerk asks, ‘May I help you?’ chances are you won’t have a deep conversation with the clerk, but you might treat him or her as more than an it. Perhaps you say, ‘I’m just browsing today. Yow know how it is at the end of the month – no money.’ The clerk might laugh and commiserate about how money gets tight by the end of each month. In this interaction, you and the clerk treat each other as more than its: the clerk doesn’t treat you as a faceless shopper, and you don’t treat the clerk as just as an agent of the store. I-You relationships may also be more personal than interactions with salesclerks. For instance, we talk with others in our classes, on the job, and on our sports teams in ways that are somewhat personal. The same is true of interaction in chat rooms where people meet to share ideas and common interests. Interaction is still guided by our roles as peers, members of a class or team, and people who have common interests. Yet we do affirm their existence and recognize them as individuals within those roles. Teachers and students often have I-You relationships. In the work place majority or our relationships are I-You. We communicate in less depth with more people in our social circles than those we love most. Casual friends, work associates and distant family members typically engage in I-You communication.
I-Thou Communication: the rarest kind of relationship involves I-Thou communication. Buber regarded this as the highest form of human dialogue because each person affirms the other as cherished and unique. When we interact on an I-Thou level, we meet others in their wholeness and individuality. Instead of dealing with them as occupants of social roles, we see them as unique human beings whom we know and accept in their totality. Also, in I-Thou communication we open ourselves fully, trusting others to accept us as we are with virtues and vices, hopes and fears, strengths and weaknesses. Buber believed that only in I-Thou relationships we become fully human, which for him meant we discard the guises we use most of the time and allow ourselves to be completely genuine in interaction (Stewart, 1986). Much of our communication involves what Buber calls ‘seeming’, in which we’re preoccupied with our image and careful to manage how we present ourselves. In I-Thou relationships, however, we engage in ‘being’ through which who we really are and how we really feel. I-Thou relationships are not common because we can’t afford to reveal ourselves totally to everyone all of the time. Thus, I-Thou relationships and the communication in them are rare and special.
PRINCIPLES OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
There are eight basic principles of effective communication which we would describe one by one:
1. We Cannot “Not Communicate”
Whenever people are together, they communicate. We cannot avoid communicating when we are with others because they interpret what we do and say as well as what we don’t do and don’t say. Even if we chose to be silent, we are communicating. Even when we don’t intend to communicate, we do so. We may be unaware of a grimace that gives away our disapproval or an eye roll that shows we dislike someone, but we are communicating nonetheless.
2. Communication Is Irreversible
Perhaps you have been in heated arguments in which you lost your temper and said something you later regretted. It could be that you hurt someone or revealed something about yourself you meant to keep private. Later you might have tried to repair the damage by apologizing, explaining what you said, or denying what you revealed. But you couldn’t erase your communication; you couldn’t unsay what you said. That means what we say and do does matter and becomes a part of the relationship. Remembering this principle keeps us aware of the importance of choosing when to speak and what to say – or not say!
3. Interpersonal Communication Involves Ethical Choices
Ethics is a branch of philosophy that focuses on moral principles and code of conduct. Ethical issues concern what is right and what is wrong. Because interpersonal communication is irreversible and affects others, it always has ethical implications. For instance, if you read a message in a hat room that makes you angry; do you fire off a nasty reply, assuming you will never meet the person so you won’t face any consequences? In work settings, should you avoid giving negative feedback because it could hurt others’ feelings? In these and many other instances, we face ethical choices.
4. Meanings Are Constructed In Interpersonal Communication
Human beings construct the meaning of their communication. The significance of communication doesn’t lie in words and nonverbal behaviors. Instead, meanings arise out of how we interpret one another. This calls our attention to the fact that humans use symbols, which sets us apart from other creatures. For example, what does it mean if someone says, “You’re sick”? To interpret the comment, you have to consider the context (a counseling session, a professional meeting), who said it (a psychiatrist, supervisor or
subordinate, a friend, an enemy), and the words themselves, which may mean various things (a medical diagnosis, a challenge to your professional competence, a compliment, a disapproval).
5. Metacommunication Affects Meanings
The word metacommunication comes from two root terms; meta, which means “about” and communication. Thus, metacommunication is communication about communication. For example, during a conversation with your friend, you notice that his body is tense and his voice is sharp. You might say, “You seem really stressed.” The statement metacommunicates because it communicates about your friend’s nonverbal communication. Metacommunication is both verbal and nonverbal. Metacommunication can increase the chance of creating shared understanding. For example, teachers sometimes say, “The next point is really important.” This comment signals students to pay special attention to what follows. A parent might tell a child, “What I said may sound harsh, but I’m only telling you because I care about you.” The comment tells the child how to interpret a critical message. Research has found that women are more likely than men to appreciate metacommunication when there is no conflict or immediate problem to be resolved. While curled up on a sofa and watching TV, a woman might say to her husband, “I really feel comfortable being close with you.” This comments on the relationship and on the nonverbal communication between the couple.
6. Interpersonal Communication Develops And Sustains Relationships
Interpersonal communication is the primary way we build, refine, and transform relationships because it allows us to express and share dreams, imaginings, and memories and to weave all of these into the joint world of relational partners.
7. Interpersonal Communication Is Not A Panacea
As we have seen, we communicate to satisfy many of our needs and to create relationship with others. Yet it would be a mistake to think communication is a cure-all. Many problems can’t be solved by talk alone. Communication by itself won’t end hunger, abuse of human rights around the globe, racism, or physical disease. Nor can words alone bridge irreconcilable differences between people or erase the hurt of betrayal.
Although good communication may increase understanding and help us find solutions to problems, it will not fix everything. We should also realize that the idea of talking things through is distinctly Western. Not all societies think it’s wise or useful to communicate about relationships or to talk extensively about feelings.
8. Interpersonal Communication Effectiveness Can Be Learned
It is incorrect to believe that effective communicators are born. Although some people have exceptional talent in athletics or writing, all of us can become competent athletes and writers. Similarly some people have an aptitude for communicating, but all of us can become competent communicators.

Motivation

Motivation: The willingness to exert high levels of effort to reach organizational goals, conditioned by the effort’s ability to satisfy some individual need. Three key elements can be seen in this definition; effort, goals and needs.

Effort element is a measure of intensity or drive. The quality of effort is equally important to the intensity of the effort.
Need: An internal state that makes certain outcomes appears attractive. An unsatisfied need creates tension that stimulates drives within an individual. These drives lead to a search behavior to find particular goals that, if attained, will satisfy the need and reduce the tension.
Performance and Motivation: Motivation alone does need lead to performance. The level of performance attained is determined by three independent factors; ability, motivation, and resources. For performance levels to be high, all three factors must be high. If any one is low or missing, the performance level will be adversely affected. For example, a very intelligent student who has the books, but because he/she does not care about grades, will not study (low motivation) and will not get an A grade.

Perception in Human Understanding

Perception is a process by which individuals give meaning to their environment by organizing and interpreting their sensory impressions. Research on perception consistently demonstrates that individuals may look at the same thing yet perceive it differently. One manager, for instance, can interpret the fact that her assistant regularly takes several days to make important decisions as evidence that the assistant is slow, disorganized, and afraid to make decisions. Another manager with the same assistant might interpret the same tendency as evidence that the assistant is thoughtful, thorough, and deliberate.

The first manger would probably evaluate her assistant negatively; the second manager would probably evaluate the person positively. The point is that none of us sees reality. We interpret what we see and call it reality. And, of course, as the example shows, we behave according to our perception.

FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE PERCEPTION
How do we explain the fact that people can perceive the same thing differently? A number of factors act to shape and sometimes distort perception. These factors can reside in the perceiver; in the object, or target, being perceived; or in the context of the situation in which perception occurs.
The Perceiver: when an individual looks at a target and attempts to interpret what he or she sees, the individual personal characteristics will heavily influence the interpretation. These personal characteristics include attitudes, personality, motives, interests, experiences and expectations.
The Target: the characteristics of the target being observed can also affect what’s perceived. Loud people are more likely than quiet people to be noticed in a group. So, too, are extremely attractive or unattractive individuals. Because targets aren’t looked at in isolation, the relationship of a target to its background also influences perception, as does our tendency to group close things and similar things together.
The Situation: the context in which we see objects or events is also important. The time at which an object or event is seen can influence attention, as can location, light, heat, color, and any number of other situational factors.
Attribution theory was developed to explain how we judge people differently depending on the meaning we attribute to a given behavior. Basically, the theory suggests that when we observe an individual’s behavior, we attempt to determine whether it was internally or externally caused. Internally caused behaviors are those that are believed to be under the personal control of the individual. Externally caused behavior results from outside factors; that is, the person is forced into the behavior by the situation. The determination, however, depends on three factors: distinctiveness, consensus, and consistency.

NEO Personality Development and Human Behavior

One of the biggest challenges in understanding human behavior is that it addresses issues that aren’t obvious. Like an iceberg, behavior has a small visible dimension and a much larger hidden portion. What we see when we look at people is their visible aspects: actions, attitudes, speech, acts, dress, language used, gait, etc. But under the surface are other elements that we need to understand – elements that influence how people behave they way they do and how they work. As we shall see, behavior provides us with considerable insights into these important, but hidden, aspects of human beings.

Attitudes
Attitudes are evaluative statements – either favorable or unfavorable – concerning objects, people, or events. They reflect how an individual feels about something. When a person says, “I like my job,” he or she is expressing an attitude about work. Research has generally concluded that people seek consistency among their attitudes and between their attitudes and behavior. This means that individuals try to reconcile differing attitudes and align their attitudes and behavior so they appear rational and consistent. When there is an inconsistency, individuals will take steps to make it consistent either by altering the attitudes or the behavior or by developing a rationalization for the
inconsistency.
Personality
Some people are quiet and passive; others are loud and aggressive. When we describe people using terms such as quiet, passive, loud, aggressive, ambitious, extroverted, loyal, tense, or sociable, we’re categorizing them in terms of personality traits. An individual’s personality is the unique combination of the psychological traits we use to describe that person. Personality assessment tests are commonly used to reveal an individual’s personality traits. One of the most popular personality tests is the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). It consists of more than a hundred questions that ask people how they usually act or feel in different situations. The way you respond to these questions puts you at one end or another of four dimensions:
1. Social interactions: Extrovert or Introvert (E or I). An extrovert is someone who is outgoing, dominant, and often aggressive and who wants to change the world. Extroverts need a work environment that is varied and action oriented, that lets them be with others, and that gives them a variety of experiences. An individual who’s shy and withdrawn and focuses on understanding the world is described as an introvert. Introverts prefer a work environment that is quiet and concentrated, that lets them be alone, and that gives them a chance to explore in depth a limited set of experiences.
2. Preference for gathering data: Sensing or Intuitive (S or N). Sensing types dislike new problems unless there are standard ways to solve them; they like an established routine, have a high need for closure, show patience with routine details, and tend be good at precise work. On the other hand, intuitive types are individuals who like solving new problems, dislike doing the same thing over and over again, jump to conclusions, are impatient with routine details, and dislike taking time for precision.
3. Preference for decision making: Feeling or Thinking (F or T). Individuals who are feeling type are aware of other people and their feelings, like harmony, need occasional praise, dislike telling people unpleasant things, tend to be sympathetic, and relate well to most people. Thinking type are unemotional and uninterested in people’s feelings, like analysis and putting things into logical order, are able to reprimand people and fire them when necessary, may seem hard-hearted, and tend to relate well only to other thinking types.
4. Style of making decision: Perceptive or Judgmental (P or J). Perceptive types are curious, spontaneous, flexible, adaptable, and tolerant. They focus on starting a task, postpone decisions, and want to find out all about the task before starting it. Judgmental types are decisive, good planners, purposeful, and exacting. They focus on completing a task, make decisions quickly, and want only the information necessary to get a task done.
The Big-Five Model of Personality
Although the MBTI is very popular, it suffers from one major criticism. It lacks evidence to support its validity. That same criticism cannot be applied to the five-factor model of personality, more often called the big-five model. The big-five personality traits are:
1. Extraversion: The degree to which one is sociable, talkative, and assertive.
2. Agreeableness: The degree to which someone is good natured, cooperative, and trusting.
3. Conscientiousness: The degree to which someone is responsible, dependable, persistent, and achievement oriented.
4. Emotional stability: The degree to which someone is calm, enthusiastic, and secure (positive)or tense, nervous, depressed, and insecure (negative).
5. Openness to experience: The degree to which someone is imaginative, artistically sensitive, and intellectual.
Emotional Intelligence
Research into the area of emotional intelligence has offered some new insights into personality. Emotional intelligence (EI) is an assortment of non-cognitive skills, capabilities, and competencies that influence a person’s ability to succeed in coping with environmental demands and pressures. It’s composed of five dimensions:
Self-awareness: The ability to be aware of what you’re feeling
Self-management: The ability to manage one’s own emotions and impulses
Self-motivation: The ability to persist in the face of setbacks and failures
Empathy: The ability to sense how others are feeling
Social skills: The ability to handle the emotions of others.
EI has been shown to be positively related to job performance at all levels. For instance, one study looked at the characteristics of Bell Lab engineers who were rated as stars of their peers. The researchers concluded that stars were better at relating to others. That is, it was EI, not academic intelligence that characterized high performers. A second study of Air Force recruiter generated similar findings. Top-performing recruiters
exhibited high levels of EI. What can we conclude from these results? EI appears to be especially relevant to success in jobs that demand a high degree of social interaction.
Predicting behavior from personality traits
Five personality traits have proved to be the most powerful in explaining individual behavior in organizations. They are locus of control, Machiavellianism, self-esteem, self- monitoring, and risk propensity.
Locus of control: Some people believe that they control their own fate. Others see themselves as pawns, believing that what happens to them in their lives is due to luck or chance. The locus of control in the first case is internal; these people believe that they control their own destiny. The locus of control in the second case is external; these people believe that their lives are controlled by outside forces. Research evidence indicates that employees who rate high on externality are less satisfied with their jobs, more alienated from the work setting. and less involved in their jobs than are those who are high on internality.
Machiavellianism: The second characteristic is called Machiavellianism (Mach) named after Niccolo Machiavelli, who wrote in the 16th century on how to gain and manipulate power. An individual who is high in Machiavellianism is pragmatic, maintains emotional distance, and believes that ends can justify means. “If it works, use it” is consistent with a high Mach perspective. Do high Machs make good employees? That depends on the type of job and whether you consider ethical factors in evaluating performance. In jobs that require bargaining kills (such as a purchasing manager) or that have substantial rewards for winning (such as a salesperson working on commission), high Machs are productive. In jobs in which ends do not justify the means or that lack absolute measure of performance, it’s difficult to predict the performance of high Machs.
Self-Esteem: People differ in the degree to which they like or dislike themselves. This trait is called selfesteem. The research on self-esteem (SE), offers some interesting insights into the study of human behavior. For example, self-esteem is directly related to expectations for success. High SEs believe that they posses the ability they need in order to succeed at work. They will take more risk in job selection and are more likely to choose unconventional jobs than are people with low self-esteem. The most common finding on self-esteem is that low SEs are more susceptible to external influence than are high SEs. Low SEs are dependent on receiving positive evaluation from others. As a result, they are more likely to seek approval from other and are more prone to conform to the beliefs and behaviors of those they respect than are high SEs. Low SEs will tend to be concerned with pleasing others and, therefore, will be less likely to take unpopular stands than are high SEs. Not surprisingly, self-esteem has also been found to be related to job satisfaction. A number of studies confirm that high SEs are more satisfied with their jobs than are low SEs.
Self-Monitoring: Another personnel trait that has received increased attention is called self-monitoring. It refers to an individual’s ability to adjust his or her behavior to external, situational factors. Individuals high in self-monitoring show considerable adaptability in adjusting their behavior. They’re highly sensitive to external cues and can behave differently in different situations. High self-monitors are capable of presenting striking contradictions between their personnel persona and their private selves. Low self-monitors cannot adjust their behavior. They tend to display their true dispositions and attitudes in every situation, and there’s high behavioral consistency between who they are and what they do. Research on self-monitoring is fairly new; thus, predictions are hard to make. However, preliminary evidence suggests that high self-monitors pay closer attention to the behavior of others and are more flexible than are low self-monitors. We might also hypothesize that high self-monitors are successful in managerial positions that require them to play multiple, and even contradictory, roles. The high self-monitor is capable of putting on different ‘faces’ for the audience.
Risk Taking: People differ in their willingness to take chances. Differences in the propensity to assume or to avoid risk have been shown to affect how long it takes managers to make a decision and how much information they require before making their choice. For instance, in one study, a group of managers worked on simulated exercises that required them to make hiring decisions. High risk-taking managers took less time to make decisions and used less information in making their choices than did low risk-taking managers. Interestingly, the decision accuracy of the two groups was the same. To maximize organizational effectiveness, managers should try to align employee risk-taking propensity with specific job demands. For instance, high risk-propensity may lead to effective performance for a commodities trader in brokerage firm because this type of job demands rapid decision making. On the other hand, high risk-taking propensity might prove a major obstacle to accountants auditing financial statements.

Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) Practical Techniques

Introduction


NLP is Physiology of Excellence – Sir Naeem

If you feel shy, nervous and frozen, you need NLP. Our body reflects the way we feel. Your shoulders go down in despair and up in excitement. Your body reflects how you feel. If you learn to control you body, you can control the way you feel.  You can turn the negative feelings into positive ones.  We all behave the way we do out of habit. But it is not just habit; you can learn to control the habit by inducting more productive habits.  
A prisonered pianist who has been locked away for ten years, with no access to piano, as soon as he is released, he sat down to play the piano as if he has been doing it all the time. When asked how he is able to do that. He said, ‘I have been practicing with my hands and head, but I had no piano’. In other words, he developed the habit so well that he could practice it on the desk, or table or whatever. It becomes a habit that he carries on. With or without piano.  Thus once habits are learnt, they can be accessed quickly and fast.  Think of a particular behavior that you would like to change and with exercises, you can form habits.


Exercises
1.      Don’t think just do it!
Sit in a comfortable chair and raise your right arm to your shoulder height. Now lower it again. Now this time. Don’t raise it but try to raise it… take it up as if you are trying to take it up. You feel difference between trying to do something and actually doing it. This time, I want you to turn your head slowly to the left, stay for 10 seconds or more. And now relax, bring it where it was.  Now try to do it. Don’t actually do it, but try to do it. Simply try to do it. Thus you see as soon as you try to do it, you actually start doing it. So, next time, don’t try to do things, but Do it! When you want to do something, take actions, don’t think about it!
2.      Body Talk!

Have you ever thought of a behavior that you would like to improve on or be better-off? Remind yourself what it is for a moment. Suppose you want to talk to some body, but you feel shy think how this ability of yours makes you feel? Visualize it and crystallize your feelings. Stand up and keep this feeling in your mind. Feel exactly as you feel and behave exactly as you behave when this feeling approaches. What does your body do in this situation? Think about the way you stand, how you hold you head, wear your feet off? What are your arms, imagine how you hold you arms. Are they crossed? Or are they by your sides. Feel that feeling! Put you body exactly in that shape that it assumes when that situation. Stand exactly as you stand! Place your feet where naturally they go! How do you feel now? Is it uncomfortable? Is you posture bad? Is your bent? Analyze the way you are standing. Shake yourself  loose again! Sit back in a comfortable chair.  And relax for ten seconds! Fantastic! Now go and assume that uncomfortable position as before. Very Good! Now sit again in the comfortable position!
3.      Turning Negative into Positive

Remind how you felt in the bad uncomfortable situation! And how you felt in the comfortable position and how you felt in the uncomfortable position! Let’s turn negative into positive. Stand up again in the uncomfortable position and as soon as you are ready, then Stand up, shoulders high, stand up straight, chest out, looking straight ahead! Notice what happens to your arms and legs when you took this positive position. Hold your arm up and make a fist. Very good! Shake yourself loose again and sit down! Relax for a few seconds! Remember what it felt like when you changed the body position. When assumed the positive posture, you felt powerful and energetic. Remember what it felt like, you felt better, you feel powerful. Keep this feeling for a few seconds! Thus you can change the way you feel simply by changing your body posture!
4.      Finding Neutral Grounds
Sit in a chair and think of some pleasant memory to clear your head. Think of some dream holiday or some better image in your mind! Close your eyes and see with what you want to see! Visualize a good image! Say the name of this special place or person four or five times. Think of some activity you might enjoy doing. May be one that you look forward to, may being painting, speaking English. The activity should be one that you are confident and secured of. One you are good at doing before other people. You are doing terrific! Say how did you feel when you involved in your favorite activity. You had joy and confidence! These two sets of feelings: one of place and the other of activity will keep you balance!
5.      The NPN Equations: Negative Positive Negative
We are going to identify a negative stage and then a positive stage and neutral stage quickly. Stand and put yourself in an uncomfortable position. Try to make it as realistic and uncomfortable as you can! Stay in this position until you feel that negative feeling starting swelling out inside you. Move in your positive position and keep this position until you feel positive feelings rising within you. Let the happiness and delight fill you body and mind so that you learn how good you feel. Switch between these positions so that you learn how to quickly change your behavior and get ready for action in real life situations. If you cannot do it very well. You can always go and do the exercises again!
Conclusion
Before you do any thing else, smile. This course will help your life a little better, Do it whatever it takes. Don’t worry it is your life. Think of some behaviors and things you feel hard to accomplish, and then change these feelings into positive by changing your body positions. Imagine yourself in that position and say how you feel. Think of the body positions that it forces you to adopt and say how you feel and then decide how you would like to feel. Trying to find that feeling and transform your body positions. As soon as you start feeling bored or tense, change your body positions. Once you get this habit like the pianist you will never forget it…

…Your body talks to you holding up a physical mirror that reflects your feeling, as soon as learn to identify the signs, you can change the way you behave and take back control of your life…

Choose your New Year Resolutions (2011)

Introduction
New Year is generally understood as starting of a new chapter of one’s life. People make resolutions by taking stock of their lives and resolving to be better ones. Socrates, the great Greek philosopher, is reported to have said that unexamined life is not worthy of living and it is almost a tradition with the sensible people to take stock of their life and to resolve to be better people, at the start of the new year. Islam lays greater stress on Contemplation. Thought and Action are two important elements of Islamic Philosophy so choose your resolutions deliberately because Thinking Makes Reality.

1.  I Will Form Good Habits and Become Their Slave…
Habits make the difference between success and failure. If I am to be a slave to my habits, I must be slave to Good Habits…I will make good habits and become their slave.

2.  I Will Greet Each Day with Love and my Heart…
Because people may detest my dress, my language or my color but they can never resist my love. There’s no weapon greater than love in the world.

3. I Will Persist Until I Succeed…
People are born to succeed, not fail. There will be no word as ‘Failure’ in my mental dictionary. Yet every failure will bring me closer to my aim. I know that failure will never overtake me if my determination is succeed is strong enough.

4. I Will Believe in Myself…
Because I am Nature’s greatest miracle. There’s none like me. I am unique. No animal, no human being, no machine can compete with me. Others are there whom I respect but I am unique in my own way.

5. I Will Live Each Day As if It Were my Last…
Because there’s no yesterday, there is no tomorrow. For me, there’s only NOW. NOW is what I have. NOW is enough for me. I will act now and help some body now if he needs me because there’s no tomorrow. I will act now to show what I am. Thousands of times I have proved my worth but it means nothing if I cannot prove it now. For me present is more important. If I have to complete my test, I will do it now. If some body needs my love, I will show it now…

6. I Will be the Master of my Emotions…
Nothing remains permanent. There’s winter after every summer, there’s light after every dark and there is happiness after every sadness.  I will control my emotions. I will not be too sad or too happy. If I am sad, I will think that this shall pass. If I am too happy, I will think about the misery in the world. I will live in the balance. I will control my emotions to balance my thoughts.

7.  I Will Laugh at the World…
We have forgotten to laugh. We have become so used to crying and weeping that we miss our moments of joy. No, from now on, I will laugh at the world because there are so many good things around. I will laugh If I am struck with some pain because pain cannot last longer. I will laugh at myself if I make any mistakes. In this way, my troubles will lighter. I know laughter is the secret of long life.

8.  I Will Increase my Vision…
I will increase my vision because there is so much in the world. I will quit deficiency mentality and believe there’s so much to attain now. What I have become is not enough, there’s still more to achieve. I will set goals for future action because there’s no limit to excellence in life. If I have achieved my dreams I will see more dreams and achieve them.

9. I Will be a Man of Action rather a Man of Thought…
Yes, I know thinking is important for action but all thinking, planning and dreaming is useless without action. So I Will Act. I will be a man of action. I will not stay constantly in my thoughts. I want to succeed. If I don’t act, failure will succeed but I don’t want failure to succeed. I want myself to succeed so what should I do?  I Will Act, I Shall Act and I must Act because action is the only thing that produces results.

10.  I Will Pray…
I do what I can and If things don’t go well, I will turn to God for help and Guidance. I will cry before God, I will pray for success. I will pray to God because only HE can show me the right path and give me proper guidance.

Conclusion
Whatever your resolutions may be. Try to include the above resolutions in your list of New Year Resolutions.